It may not be the most erudite or uplifting of topics, but with or without being seen or heard or given voice, and whether or not this page is filled with words adding interest to its happening, shit is a fact of life.
Shit happens in various world religions, or A short course in comparative religion, in faith, artistic and political ideologies, contemplating the substance from various viewpoints, first appeared on T-shirts in the 1980's. Many different versions exist, explaining, excusing, advising, but most agree on the first two or three lines as classic bits of poetry now. This page tries to combine the wittiest wisdom out there with a few entries that are not elsewhere for a refreshing insight into the matter. After that the reader may also appreciate what people in history and on stage had to say about it in their own time.
Where the original list was more about religions than anything else, that has been changed back now.
Confucius says: “Shit happens”.
If shit happens, it is not really shit.
Shit is, and is not.
This shit happened before.
This shit happens everywhere.
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Shit happens to sinners.
Shit happens if it is the will of God.
Shit happens for a variety of reasons.
Shit is written in the stars.
If shit happens, you deserve it.
Shit happens, so let 's make it worthwhile.
When shit happens, change the subject.
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
More shit happens in Rome.
This shit was bound to happen.
It 's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
It 's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve it with grape juice.
Shit that happens to one person is just as good as that happens to another.
Shit never happens the same way twice.
So shit happens, already!
Your shit is my shit.
Shit happens half of the time.
All shit happens to be alive.
Leave our shit alone.
We are the shit that happens.
The wise man has other things on his mind when shit happens.
Shit shall continue to happen until the return of Mithras.
There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image.
Some shit happier than others.
It 's not too bad if shit happens just before washing.
It 's not so bad if shit happens, just clean up afterwards.
Shit happens, but as long as you 're sorry, it 's OK.
Greek Orthodox Church
Shit happens, usually in three's.
Russian Orthodox Church
Do not think shit does not happen.
Seventh Day Adventism
No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Send more shit.
If shit happens, pass it on.
All shit that happens, is one.
All that happens, is one shit.
Shit happening is all in your mind.
If shit happens, it 's a secret.
You don't know half of the shit that happens.
S*** can happen all day as long as you don't call it that.
The shit that appears to be happening is an illusion.
Some weird shit is going on.
Sh, it happens.
Let us not quarrel over this shit.
Shit happening is good for the soil.
God did not make this shit happen.
If shit happens, don't step in it.
If it doesn't happen, it can't be shit.
This shit doesn't smell at all.
This shit was once food.
No shit happened before Sunday 23 October 4004 BC.
Shit happens from within.
No matter how shit, we happen.
Let only one shit happen.
Shit is male as it happens.
Shit happens in the global village.
Our shit happens better than yours.
Shit happens right on time.
Shit has nothing to lose but to happen.
In five years, shit will happen on an industrial scale.
Let 's share this shit.
That 's my shit.
If shit happens, let 's distribute it equally.
This shit is going to hit the fan.
If shit happens, sell it.
If there is no shit, it doesn't happen.
Shit doesn't happen like it used to.
It would be silly for shit not to happen.
Let 's bronze this shit.
If shit must happen, let only shit happen.
Be prepared that all shit will happen, eventually.
Who gives a shit?
Shit that happens is like sex.
Shit is conditioned to happen.
Shit only happens if I see it happen.
Every shit happens differently.
This shit doesn't bother me.
Shit happens after a good meal.
From a distance, this shit looks like a garden.
Excrement comes and goes.
If shit happens, you won't recognize it.
More than enough shit happens as it does.
What is this shit, anyway?
Shit happens to happen.
Let 's make shit happen so at least we know who to blame.
The shit that happens to the rich and famous is much more glamorous.
If shit happens, silence the perpetrators.
Less shit happens every day, relatively speaking.
Shit and no shit happen both.
Big shit is happening to you.
This shit is going to happen again.
If shit happens, see ‘Dianetics’, page 157.
Shit has been prophesied and is imminent, and only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Shit happens, rama, rama.
Only really happy shit happens.
How can we know if shit happens and nobody hears it?
Sleep and no shit will happen.
Let 's smoke this shit.
Shit happens in the wind and best in the shade.
Corn fertilizer happens.
Shit happens in cycles.
Only holy shit happens.
If shit happens, the Gods want to see more blood.
All shit is one shit.
When shit happens, it happens everywhere at once.
If shit happens, the answer is 42.
If organic shit happens, it 's OK.
Eat only what does not happen.
If it happens to shit, don't eat it.
There 's nothing like a good shit happening!
Whoever dies with the most shit, wins.
If shit happens, go for more.
My shit happens.
I love this shit!
But of course shit happens.
Oh shit, it 's going to happen.
Shit is happening now, but it will soon cease to happen.
More shit will happen sooner or later.
There is shit, as it happens.
Other shit could also happen.
Deal with shit one day at a time.
Maybe shit happens, but then again, maybe not.
Shit has a right to happen.
Give shit a chance to happen.
Make happenings, not shit.
Never mind what happens.
Shit happens around the Sacred Oak.
Shit happens from me to you.
Mix this shit together and it will happen.
If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
This shit never happens in real life.
You think shit happens now, you just wait.
If shit happens, don't look back.
I can't believe this shit!
I don't know shit.
Click individual lines to toggle.
To shit is to happen.
We are what we repeatedly do.
The smaller the shit, the more it happens.
The smaller the mind, the greater the conceit.
The shit that happens is not the real shit.
The Tao that can be named is not the real Tao.
Thou shouldst shit to happen, not happen to shit.
Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat.
All shit is vain and dirty unless it happens.
All speech is vain and empty unless it be accompanied by action. 1
Veni, defecato, vici. I came, I shitted, I happened.
Veni, vidi, vici. I came, I saw, I conquered.
In nova feces tauri mutatas. The same old bullshit happens over and over.
In nova fert animus mutatas dicere formas corpora. My mind leads me to tell of forms changed into new bodies. (opening lines of the Metamorphoses)
In the beginning was the shit, and the shit was where it happened, and the shit was what happened.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
I saw the angel in the shit and carved until it happened.
I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free. 1
It is better to shit than to happen, if you cannot do both.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Shit is driven out by more shit. What happens is undone by what happens.
A nail is driven out by another nail. Habit is overcome by habit.
They say shit never happened. But it is still happening.
Epur si muove. And yet she moves. (after his formal abjuration of heliocentricity)
Shit equals mass times the happening.
F = m × a
The only thing necessary for shit to happen is for a man to eat.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
S. T. Coleridge
In Xanadu shit happened and a stately pleasure-shit at that.
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure-dome decree.1
Cogito ergo excreto. I think, therefore I shit.
Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am.
I shit, therefore I sit.
Every man is guilty of all the shit that didn't happen.
Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do.
La merde, c 'est moi. The shit, it' s me.
L' État, c' est moi. The state is me. (13 April 1655)1
From the heights of these happenings, forty centuries shit down on us.
From the heights of these pyramids, forty centuries look down on us. (Speech to his troops in Egypt , 21 July 1798)
La merde pour la merde. Shit for the sake of what happens.