It may not be the most erudite or uplifting of topics, but with or without being seen or heard or given voice, and whether or not this page is filled with words adding interest to its happening, shit is a fact of life.
Where the original list was more about religions than anything else, that has been changed back now.
- Aristotle
- To shit is to happen.
We are what we repeatedly do.
- Aesop
- The smaller the shit, the more it happens.
The smaller the mind, the greater the conceit.
- Lao Tzu
- The shit that happens is not the real shit.
The Tao that can be named is not the real Tao.
- Socrates
- Thou shouldst shit to happen, not happen to shit.
Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat.
- Demosthenes
- All shit is vain and dirty unless it happens.
All speech is vain and empty unless it be accompanied by action.
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- Julius Caesar
- Veni, defecato, vici. I came, I shitted, I happened.
Veni, vidi, vici. I came, I saw, I conquered.
- Ovid
- In nova feces tauri mutatas. The same old bullshit happens over and over.
In nova fert animus mutatas dicere formas corpora. My mind leads me to tell of forms changed into new bodies. (opening lines of the
Metamorphoses)
- John
- In the beginning was the shit, and the shit was where it happened, and the shit was what happened.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
- Michelangelo
- I saw the angel in the shit and carved until it happened.
I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.
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- Niccolo Machiavelli
- It is better to shit than to happen, if you cannot do both.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
- Desiderius Erasmus
- Shit is driven out by more shit. What happens is undone by what happens.
A nail is driven out by another nail. Habit is overcome by habit.
- Galileo Galilei
- They say shit never happened. But it is still happening.
Epur si muove. And yet she moves. (after his formal abjuration of heliocentricity)
- Isaac Newton
- Shit equals mass times the happening.
F = m × a
- Edmund Burke
- The only thing necessary for shit to happen is for a man to eat.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
- S. T. Coleridge
- In Xanadu shit happened and a stately pleasure-shit at that.
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure-dome decree.
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- René Descartes
- Cogito ergo excreto. I think, therefore I shit.
Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am.
- René Descartes
- I shit, therefore I sit.
- Voltaire
- Every man is guilty of all the shit that didn't happen.
Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do.
- Louis XIV
- La merde, c 'est moi. The shit, it' s me.
L' État, c' est moi. The state is me. (13 April 1655)
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- Napoleon Bonaparte
- From the heights of these happenings, forty centuries shit down on us.
From the heights of these pyramids, forty centuries look down on us. (Speech to his troops in Egypt , 21 July 1798)
- Théophile Gautier
- La merde pour la merde. Shit for the sake of what happens.
L' art pour l' art. Art for art's sake.
- Robert Browning
- Less shit is more happening.
- Henry David Thoreau
- Shit does not change; it happens.
Things do not change; we change. (Walden, chapter 18)
- Karl Marx
- Happenings of all countries, shit!
Proletarier aller Länder, vereinigt euch! Working men of all countries, unite! (The Communist Manifesto, 1848)
- Friedrich Nietzsche
- There are no farts, only happenings.
There are no facts, only interpretations.
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- George Washington
- I cannot tell a lie: shit happened.
I cannot tell a lie. (Anecdotic)
- Abraham Lincoln
- Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this shit a new happening
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation (Gettysburg Address)
- Lewis Carroll
- Why, sometimes I've had as many as six impossible shits happen before breakfast.
Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
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- Mark Twain
- It's not the size of the shit in the dog, but the size of the happening in the shit.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
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- Thomas Edison
- Mary had shit happening.
Mary had a little lamb. (First words recorded on his phonograph)
- Oscar Wilde
- A cynic is a man who knows the price of shit but the value of what happens.
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything but the value of nothing.
- Rudyard Kipling
- If you can keep your shit when all about you are losing theirs and aiming it at you
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you (
If— openeing lines, 1910)
- J. R. R. Tolkien
- All that is shit does not happen; not all that happens is shit.
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost. (The Fellowship of the Ring, 1954)
- Adial E. Stevenson
- What counts is not the shit in your life but the happening in your years.
What counts is not the years in your life but the life in your years.
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- Wallace Stevens
- After the final happening there comes a shit.
After the final no there comes a yes.
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- Louis Henri Sullivan
- Shit follows whatever happens.
Form follows function.
- Buckminster Fuller
- Sometimes I think shit happens. Sometimes I think it doesn't. Either way, the smell is breathtaking.
Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering.
- Gertrude Stein
- Shit is shit is shit is happening.
Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose.
- Werner Heisenberg
- Some shit happened, but we 're not quite sure where or how much.
- Albert Einstein
- Shit is relative to its mass times the speed at which it happens squared.
E = m × c²
- Alfred Kinsey
- There is no remedy for shit but more happenings.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
- Mahatma Gandhi
- First they ignore shit, then they laugh at shit, then they fight shit, then shit happens.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Winston Churchill
- If you are going through shit, keep going.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
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- Mao Zedong
- Let a hundred shits happen.
Let a hundred flowers bloom.
- George Orwell
- War is peace. Ignorance is strength. Shit is happening.
War is Peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
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- John F. Kennedy
- Ask not what your country can do for shit, ask what shit can happen.
Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country. (
Inaugural speech)
- Martin Luther King
- where they will not be judged by the color of their shit but by the consequence of what happens.
a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. (
I have a dream speech)
- Neil Armstrong
- It 's one small shit for a man, but a giant heap for mankind.
It 's one small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind. (First words spoken on the moon)
- Arthur C. Clarke
- Any sufficiently advanced shit is indistinguishable from what can never happen.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
- Richard Nixon
- Shit didn't happen, and if it did I wasn't there.
- Ronald Reagan
- Well, I do believe that shit happened. I was just taking a nap.
- George Bush
- Read my lips: no more shit!
- Bill Clinton
- Shit happened, but I did not inhale.
I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.
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- Bill Gates
- If shit happens, patch it.
- George W. Bush
- Like I say, shit happens.
- Al Gore
- Shit happens big time.
- Barack Obama
- Yes, shit happens.
- Hamlet
- To happen or not to happen, that is the shit.
To be or not to be, that is the question.
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- James Bond
- My game is shit, happening shit.
My name is Bond, James Bond.
- James T. Kirk
- To boldly go where no shit happened before!
To boldly go where no man has gone before. (William Shatner in the Star Trek series)
- Maria von Trapp
- The hills are alive with the shit that happens.
The hills are alive with the sound of music. (Julie Andrews in the opening lines of The Sound of Music, 1965)
- The Godfather
- I 'll give you shit you can't refuse.
I 'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. (Marlon Brando in
The Godfather, 1972)
♩
- The Terminator
- Shit 'll be back.
I 'll be back. (Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator, 1984)
- Highlander
- Shit can happen only once.
There can be only one. (Christopher Lambert in Highlander, 1986)
- Bill Haley
- Happen around the shit
- Louis Armstrong
- What a happy shit
What a wonderful world
- Elvis Presley
- Don't you shit on my blue suede shoes
Don't you step on my blue suede shoes
- Marvin Gaye
- Is shit happening
What 's going on
- John Lennon
- Let it happen
Let it be
- Mick Jagger
- Shit is on my side
- Lou Reed
- Walk where shit happens
Walk on the wild side
- Bob Dylan
- The shit, my friend, is happenin' with the wind
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
- Paul Simon
- There must be fifty ways for shit to happen.
There must be fifty ways to leave a lover.
♩
- Tina Turner
- Deep shit happens high
River deep, mountain high
- Joni Mitchell
- You don't know shit till it 's happened
You don't know what you've got till it 's gone
♩
- Gloria Gaynor
- Shit will continue to happen
- Michael Jackson
- She sais shit happened, but I didn't do it
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son
♩
- Freddie Mercury
- Crazy little shit happened
Crazy little thing called love
- David Bowie
- Shit happening
- Pink Floyd
- Wish shit had never happened
Wish you were here
- Madonna
- Like shit never happened
Like a virgin
- Sting
- Shit happens in a bottle
Message in a bottle
- Bono
- Shit (In shame)
Pride (In the name of love)
