All 's Well That Ends Well
Act IV.
Scene i. Without the Florentine camp.
- Enter Second French Lord, with five or six other Soldiers in ambush
- Second Lord: He can come no other way but by this hedge-corner.
- When you sally upon him, speak what terrible
- language you will: though you understand it not
- yourselves, no matter; for we must not seem to
- understand him, unless some one among us whom we
- must produce for an interpreter.
- First Soldier: Good captain, let me be the interpreter.
- Second Lord: Art not acquainted with him? knows he not thy voice?
- First Soldier: No, sir, I warrant you.
- Second Lord: But what linsey-woolsey hast thou to speak to us again?
- First Soldier: E'en such as you speak to me.
- Second Lord: He must think us some band of strangers i' the
- adversary's entertainment. Now he hath a smack of
- all neighbouring languages; therefore we must every
- one be a man of his own fancy, not to know what we
- speak one to another; so we seem to know, is to
- know straight our purpose: choughs' language,
- gabble enough, and good enough. As for you,
- interpreter, you must seem very politic. But couch,
- ho! here he comes, to beguile two hours in a sleep,
- and then to return and swear the lies he forges.
- Enter Parolles
- Parolles: Ten o'clock: within these three hours 'twill be
- time enough to go home. What shall I say I have
- done? It must be a very plausive invention that
- carries it: they begin to smoke me; and disgraces
- have of late knocked too often at my door. I find
- my tongue is too foolhardy; but my heart hath the
- fear of Mars before it and of his creatures, not
- daring the reports of my tongue.
- Second Lord: This is the first truth that e'er thine own tongue
- was guilty of.
- Parolles: What the devil should move me to undertake the
- recovery of this drum, being not ignorant of the
- impossibility, and knowing I had no such purpose? I
- must give myself some hurts, and say I got them in
- exploit: yet slight ones will not carry it; they
- will say, 'Came you off with so little?' and great
- ones I dare not give. Wherefore, what's the
- instance? Tongue, I must put you into a
- butter-woman's mouth and buy myself another of
- Bajazet's mule, if you prattle me into these perils.
- Second Lord: Is it possible he should know what he is, and be
- that he is?
- Parolles: I would the cutting of my garments would serve the
- turn, or the breaking of my Spanish sword.
- Second Lord: We cannot afford you so.
- Parolles: Or the baring of my beard; and to say it was in
- stratagem.
- Second Lord: 'Twould not do.
- Parolles: Or to drown my clothes, and say I was stripped.
- Second Lord: Hardly serve.
- Parolles: Though I swore I leaped from the window of the citadel.
- Second Lord: How deep?
- Parolles: Thirty fathom.
- Second Lord: Three great oaths would scarce make that be believed.
- Parolles: I would I had any drum of the enemy's: I would swear
- I recovered it.
- Second Lord: You shall hear one anon.
- Parolles: A drum now of the enemy's,—
- Alarum within
- Second Lord: Throca movousus, cargo, cargo, cargo.
- All: Cargo, cargo, cargo, villiando par corbo, cargo.
- Parolles: O, ransom, ransom! do not hide mine eyes.
- They seize and blindfold him
- First Soldier: Boskos thromuldo boskos.
- Parolles: I know you are the Muskos' regiment:
- And I shall lose my life for want of language;
- If there be here German, or Dane, low Dutch,
- Italian, or French, let him speak to me; I'll
- Discover that which shall undo the Florentine.
- First Soldier: Boskos vauvado: I understand thee, and can speak
- thy tongue. Kerely bonto, sir, betake thee to thy
- faith, for seventeen poniards are at thy bosom.
- Parolles: O!
- First Soldier: O, pray, pray, pray! Manka revania dulche.
- Second Lord: Oscorbidulchos volivorco.
- First Soldier: The general is content to spare thee yet;
- And, hoodwink'd as thou art, will lead thee on
- To gather from thee: haply thou mayst inform
- Something to save thy life.
- Parolles: O, let me live!
- And all the secrets of our camp I'll show,
- Their force, their purposes; nay, I'll speak that
- Which you will wonder at.
- First Soldier: But wilt thou faithfully?
- Parolles: If I do not, damn me.
- First Soldier: Acordo linta.
- Come on; thou art granted space.
- Exit, with Parolles guarded. A short alarum within
- Second Lord: Go, tell the Count Rousillon, and my brother,
- We have caught the woodcock, and will keep him muffled
- Till we do hear from them.
- Second Soldier: Captain, I will.
- Second Lord: A' will betray us all unto ourselves:
- Inform on that.
- Second Soldier: So I will, sir.
- Second Lord: Till then I'll keep him dark and safely lock'd.
- Exeunt
Scene ii. Florence. The Widow's house.
- Enter Bertram and Diana
- Bertram: They told me that your name was Fontibell.
- Diana: No, my good lord, Diana.
- Bertram: Titled goddess;
- And worth it, with addition! But, fair soul,
- In your fine frame hath love no quality?
- If quick fire of youth light not your mind,
- You are no maiden, but a monument:
- When you are dead, you should be such a one
- As you are now, for you are cold and stem;
- And now you should be as your mother was
- When your sweet self was got.
- Diana: She then was honest.
- Bertram: So should you be.
- Diana: No:
- My mother did but duty; such, my lord,
- As you owe to your wife.
- Bertram: No more o' that;
- I prithee, do not strive against my vows:
- I was compell'd to her; but I love thee
- By love's own sweet constraint, and will for ever
- Do thee all rights of service.
- Diana: Ay, so you serve us
- Till we serve you; but when you have our roses,
- You barely leave our thorns to prick ourselves
- And mock us with our bareness.
- Bertram: How have I sworn!
- Diana: 'Tis not the many oaths that makes the truth,
- But the plain single vow that is vow'd true.
- What is not holy, that we swear not by,
- But take the High'st to witness: then, pray you, tell me,
- If I should swear by God's great attributes,
- I loved you dearly, would you believe my oaths,
- When I did love you ill? This has no holding,
- To swear by him whom I protest to love,
- That I will work against him: therefore your oaths
- Are words and poor conditions, but unseal'd,
- At least in my opinion.
- Bertram: Change it, change it;
- Be not so holy-cruel: love is holy;
- And my integrity ne'er knew the crafts
- That you do charge men with. Stand no more off,
- But give thyself unto my sick desires,
- Who then recover: say thou art mine, and ever
- My love as it begins shall so persever.
- Diana: I see that men make ropes in such a scarre
- That we'll forsake ourselves. Give me that ring.
- Bertram: I'll lend it thee, my dear; but have no power
- To give it from me.
- Diana: Will you not, my lord?
- Bertram: It is an honour 'longing to our house,
- Bequeathed down from many ancestors;
- Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world
- In me to lose.
- Diana: Mine honour's such a ring:
- My chastity's the jewel of our house,
- Bequeathed down from many ancestors;
- Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world
- In me to lose: thus your own proper wisdom
- Brings in the champion Honour on my part,
- Against your vain assault.
- Bertram: Here, take my ring:
- My house, mine honour, yea, my life, be thine,
- And I'll be bid by thee.
- Diana: When midnight comes, knock at my chamber-window:
- I'll order take my mother shall not hear.
- Now will I charge you in the band of truth,
- When you have conquer'd my yet maiden bed,
- Remain there but an hour, nor speak to me:
- My reasons are most strong; and you shall know them
- When back again this ring shall be deliver'd:
- And on your finger in the night I'll put
- Another ring, that what in time proceeds
- May token to the future our past deeds.
- Adieu, till then; then, fail not. You have won
- A wife of me, though there my hope be done.
- Bertram: A heaven on earth I have won by wooing thee.
- Exit
- Diana: For which live long to thank both heaven and me!
- You may so in the end.
- My mother told me just how he would woo,
- As if she sat in 's heart; she says all men
- Have the like oaths: he had sworn to marry me
- When his wife's dead; therefore I'll lie with him
- When I am buried. Since Frenchmen are so braid,
- Marry that will, I live and die a maid:
- Only in this disguise I think't no sin
- To cozen him that would unjustly win.
- Exit
Scene iii. The Florentine camp.
- Enter the two French Lords and some two or three Soldiers
- First Lord: You have not given him his mother's letter?
- Second Lord: I have delivered it an hour since: there is
- something in't that stings his nature; for on the
- reading it he changed almost into another man.
- First Lord: He has much worthy blame laid upon him for shaking
- off so good a wife and so sweet a lady.
- Second Lord: Especially he hath incurred the everlasting
- displeasure of the king, who had even tuned his
- bounty to sing happiness to him. I will tell you a
- thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with you.
- First Lord: When you have spoken it, 'tis dead, and I am the
- grave of it.
- Second Lord: He hath perverted a young gentlewoman here in
- Florence, of a most chaste renown; and this night he
- fleshes his will in the spoil of her honour: he hath
- given her his monumental ring, and thinks himself
- made in the unchaste composition.
- First Lord: Now, God delay our rebellion! as we are ourselves,
- what things are we!
- Second Lord: Merely our own traitors. And as in the common course
- of all treasons, we still see them reveal
- themselves, till they attain to their abhorred ends,
- so he that in this action contrives against his own
- nobility, in his proper stream o'erflows himself.
- First Lord: Is it not meant damnable in us, to be trumpeters of
- our unlawful intents? We shall not then have his
- company to-night?
- Second Lord: Not till after midnight; for he is dieted to his hour.
- First Lord: That approaches apace; I would gladly have him see
- his company anatomized, that he might take a measure
- of his own judgments, wherein so curiously he had
- set this counterfeit.
- Second Lord: We will not meddle with him till he come; for his
- presence must be the whip of the other.
- First Lord: In the mean time, what hear you of these wars?
- Second Lord: I hear there is an overture of peace.
- First Lord: Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded.
- Second Lord: What will Count Rousillon do then? will he travel
- higher, or return again into France?
- First Lord: I perceive, by this demand, you are not altogether
- of his council.
- Second Lord: Let it be forbid, sir; so should I be a great deal
- of his act.
- First Lord: Sir, his wife some two months since fled from his
- house: her pretence is a pilgrimage to Saint Jaques
- le Grand; which holy undertaking with most austere
- sanctimony she accomplished; and, there residing the
- tenderness of her nature became as a prey to her
- grief; in fine, made a groan of her last breath, and
- now she sings in heaven.
- Second Lord: How is this justified?
- First Lord: The stronger part of it by her own letters, which
- makes her story true, even to the point of her
- death: her death itself, which could not be her
- office to say is come, was faithfully confirmed by
- the rector of the place.
- Second Lord: Hath the count all this intelligence?
- First Lord: Ay, and the particular confirmations, point from
- point, so to the full arming of the verity.
- Second Lord: I am heartily sorry that he'll be glad of this.
- First Lord: How mightily sometimes we make us comforts of our losses!
- Second Lord: And how mightily some other times we drown our gain
- in tears! The great dignity that his valour hath
- here acquired for him shall at home be encountered
- with a shame as ample.
- First Lord: The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and
- ill together: our virtues would be proud, if our
- faults whipped them not; and our crimes would
- despair, if they were not cherished by our virtues.
- Enter a Messenger
- How now! where's your master?
- Servant: He met the duke in the street, sir, of whom he hath
- taken a solemn leave: his lordship will next
- morning for France. The duke hath offered him
- letters of commendations to the king.
- Second Lord: They shall be no more than needful there, if they
- were more than they can commend.
- First Lord: They cannot be too sweet for the king's tartness.
- Here's his lordship now.
- Enter Bertram
- How now, my lord! is't not after midnight?
- Bertram: I have to-night dispatched sixteen businesses, a
- month's length a-piece, by an abstract of success:
- I have congied with the duke, done my adieu with his
- nearest; buried a wife, mourned for her; writ to my
- lady mother I am returning; entertained my convoy;
- and between these main parcels of dispatch effected
- many nicer needs; the last was the greatest, but
- that I have not ended yet.
- Second Lord: If the business be of any difficulty, and this
- morning your departure hence, it requires haste of
- your lordship.
- Bertram: I mean, the business is not ended, as fearing to
- hear of it hereafter. But shall we have this
- dialogue between the fool and the soldier? Come,
- bring forth this counterfeit module, he has deceived
- me, like a double-meaning prophesier.
- Second Lord: Bring him forth: has sat i' the stocks all night,
- poor gallant knave.
- Bertram: No matter: his heels have deserved it, in usurping
- his spurs so long. How does he carry himself?
- Second Lord: I have told your lordship already, the stocks carry
- him. But to answer you as you would be understood;
- he weeps like a wench that had shed her milk: he
- hath confessed himself to Morgan, whom he supposes
- to be a friar, from the time of his remembrance to
- this very instant disaster of his setting i' the
- stocks: and what think you he hath confessed?
- Bertram: Nothing of me, has a'?
- Second Lord: His confession is taken, and it shall be read to his
- face: if your lordship be in't, as I believe you
- are, you must have the patience to hear it.
- Enter Parolles guarded, and First Soldier
- Bertram: A plague upon him! muffled! he can say nothing of
- me: hush, hush!
- First Lord: Hoodman comes! Portotartarosa
- First Soldier: He calls for the tortures: what will you say
- without 'em?
- Parolles: I will confess what I know without constraint: if
- ye pinch me like a pasty, I can say no more.
- First Soldier: Bosko chimurcho.
- First Lord: Boblibindo chicurmurco.
- First Soldier: You are a merciful general. Our general bids you
- answer to what I shall ask you out of a note.
- Parolles: And truly, as I hope to live.
- First Soldier: [Reads] 'First demand of him how many horse the
- duke is strong.' What say you to that?
- Parolles: Five or six thousand; but very weak and
- unserviceable: the troops are all scattered, and
- the commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation
- and credit and as I hope to live.
- First Soldier: Shall I set down your answer so?
- Parolles: Do: I'll take the sacrament on't, how and which way you will.
- Bertram: All's one to him. What a past-saving slave is this!
- First Lord: You're deceived, my lord: this is Monsieur
- Parolles, the gallant militarist,—that was his own
- phrase,—that had the whole theoric of war in the
- knot of his scarf, and the practise in the chape of
- his dagger.
- Second Lord: I will never trust a man again for keeping his sword
- clean. nor believe he can have every thing in him
- by wearing his apparel neatly.
- First Soldier: Well, that's set down.
- Parolles: Five or six thousand horse, I said,— I will say
- true,—or thereabouts, set down, for I'll speak truth.
- First Lord: He's very near the truth in this.
- Bertram: But I con him no thanks for't, in the nature he
- delivers it.
- Parolles: Poor rogues, I pray you, say.
- First Soldier: Well, that's set down.
- Parolles: I humbly thank you, sir: a truth's a truth, the
- rogues are marvellous poor.
- First Soldier: [Reads] 'Demand of him, of what strength they are
- a-foot.' What say you to that?
- Parolles: By my troth, sir, if I were to live this present
- hour, I will tell true. Let me see: Spurio, a
- hundred and fifty; Sebastian, so many; Corambus, so
- many; Jaques, so many; Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick,
- and Gratii, two hundred and fifty each; mine own
- company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred and
- fifty each: so that the muster-file, rotten and
- sound, upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thousand
- poll; half of the which dare not shake snow from off
- their cassocks, lest they shake themselves to pieces.
- Bertram: What shall be done to him?
- First Lord: Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my
- condition, and what credit I have with the duke.
- First Soldier: Well, that's set down.
- Reads
- 'You shall demand of him, whether one Captain Dumain
- be i' the camp, a Frenchman; what his reputation is
- with the duke; what his valour, honesty, and
- expertness in wars; or whether he thinks it were not
- possible, with well-weighing sums of gold, to
- corrupt him to revolt.' What say you to this? what
- do you know of it?
- Parolles: I beseech you, let me answer to the particular of
- the inter'gatories: demand them singly.
- First Soldier: Do you know this Captain Dumain?
- Parolles: I know him: a' was a botcher's 'prentice in Paris,
- from whence he was whipped for getting the shrieve's
- fool with child,—a dumb innocent, that could not
- say him nay.
- Bertram: Nay, by your leave, hold your hands; though I know
- his brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls.
- First Soldier: Well, is this captain in the duke of Florence's camp?
- Parolles: Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy.
- First Lord: Nay look not so upon me; we shall hear of your
- lordship anon.
- First Soldier: What is his reputation with the duke?
- Parolles: The duke knows him for no other but a poor officer
- of mine; and writ to me this other day to turn him
- out o' the band: I think I have his letter in my pocket.
- First Soldier: Marry, we'll search.
- Parolles: In good sadness, I do not know; either it is there,
- or it is upon a file with the duke's other letters
- in my tent.
- First Soldier: Here 'tis; here's a paper: shall I read it to you?
- Parolles: I do not know if it be it or no.
- Bertram: Our interpreter does it well.
- First Lord: Excellently.
- First Soldier: [Reads] 'Dian, the count's a fool, and full of gold,'—
- Parolles: That is not the duke's letter, sir; that is an
- advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one
- Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count
- Rousillon, a foolish idle boy, but for all that very
- ruttish: I pray you, sir, put it up again.
- First Soldier: Nay, I'll read it first, by your favour.
- Parolles: My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest in the
- behalf of the maid; for I knew the young count to be
- a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is a whale to
- virginity and devours up all the fry it finds.
- Bertram: Damnable both-sides rogue!
- First Soldier: [Reads] 'When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it;
- After he scores, he never pays the score:
- Half won is match well made; match, and well make it;
- He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before;
- And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this,
- Men are to mell with, boys are not to kiss:
- For count of this, the count's a fool, I know it,
- Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.
- Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear,
- Parolles.'
- Bertram: He shall be whipped through the army with this rhyme
- in's forehead.
- Second Lord: This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold
- linguist and the armipotent soldier.
- Bertram: I could endure any thing before but a cat, and now
- he's a cat to me.
- First Soldier: I perceive, sir, by the general's looks, we shall be
- fain to hang you.
- Parolles: My life, sir, in any case: not that I am afraid to
- die; but that, my offences being many, I would
- repent out the remainder of nature: let me live,
- sir, in a dungeon, i' the stocks, or any where, so I may live.
- First Soldier: We'll see what may be done, so you confess freely;
- therefore, once more to this Captain Dumain: you
- have answered to his reputation with the duke and to
- his valour: what is his honesty?
- Parolles: He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister: for
- rapes and ravishments he parallels Nessus: he
- professes not keeping of oaths; in breaking 'em he
- is stronger than Hercules: he will lie, sir, with
- such volubility, that you would think truth were a
- fool: drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will
- be swine-drunk; and in his sleep he does little
- harm, save to his bed-clothes about him; but they
- know his conditions and lay him in straw. I have but
- little more to say, sir, of his honesty: he has
- every thing that an honest man should not have; what
- an honest man should have, he has nothing.
- First Lord: I begin to love him for this.
- Bertram: For this description of thine honesty? A pox upon
- him for me, he's more and more a cat.
- First Soldier: What say you to his expertness in war?
- Parolles: Faith, sir, he has led the drum before the English
- tragedians; to belie him, I will not, and more of
- his soldiership I know not; except, in that country
- he had the honour to be the officer at a place there
- called Mile-end, to instruct for the doubling of
- files: I would do the man what honour I can, but of
- this I am not certain.
- First Lord: He hath out-villained villany so far, that the
- rarity redeems him.
- Bertram: A pox on him, he's a cat still.
- First Soldier: His qualities being at this poor price, I need not
- to ask you if gold will corrupt him to revolt.
- Parolles: Sir, for a quart d'ecu he will sell the fee-simple
- of his salvation, the inheritance of it; and cut the
- entail from all remainders, and a perpetual
- succession for it perpetually.
- First Soldier: What's his brother, the other Captain Dumain?
- Second Lord: Why does be ask him of me?
- First Soldier: What's he?
- Parolles: E'en a crow o' the same nest; not altogether so
- great as the first in goodness, but greater a great
- deal in evil: he excels his brother for a coward,
- yet his brother is reputed one of the best that is:
- in a retreat he outruns any lackey; marry, in coming
- on he has the cramp.
- First Soldier: If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray
- the Florentine?
- Parolles: Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count Rousillon.
- First Soldier: I'll whisper with the general, and know his pleasure.
- Parolles: [Aside] I'll no more drumming; a plague of all
- drums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to
- beguile the supposition of that lascivious young boy
- the count, have I run into this danger. Yet who
- would have suspected an ambush where I was taken?
- First Soldier: There is no remedy, sir, but you must die: the
- general says, you that have so traitorously
- discovered the secrets of your army and made such
- pestiferous reports of men very nobly held, can
- serve the world for no honest use; therefore you
- must die. Come, headsman, off with his head.
- Parolles: O Lord, sir, let me live, or let me see my death!
- First Lord: That shall you, and take your leave of all your friends.
- Unblinding him
- So, look about you: know you any here?
- Bertram: Good morrow, noble captain.
- Second Lord: God bless you, Captain Parolles.
- First Lord: God save you, noble captain.
- Second Lord: Captain, what greeting will you to my Lord Lafeu?
- I am for France.
- First Lord: Good captain, will you give me a copy of the sonnet
- you writ to Diana in behalf of the Count Rousillon?
- an I were not a very coward, I'ld compel it of you:
- but fare you well.
- Exeunt Bertram and Lords
- First Soldier: You are undone, captain, all but your scarf; that
- has a knot on't yet
- Parolles: Who cannot be crushed with a plot?
- First Soldier: If you could find out a country where but women were
- that had received so much shame, you might begin an
- impudent nation. Fare ye well, sir; I am for France
- too: we shall speak of you there.
- Exit with Soldiers
- Parolles: Yet am I thankful: if my heart were great,
- 'Twould burst at this. Captain I'll be no more;
- But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft
- As captain shall: simply the thing I am
- Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart,
- Let him fear this, for it will come to pass
- that every braggart shall be found an ass.
- Rust, sword? cool, blushes! and, Parolles, live
- Safest in shame! being fool'd, by foolery thrive!
- There's place and means for every man alive.
- I'll after them.
- Exit
Scene iv. Florence. The Widow's house.
- Enter Helena, Widow, and Diana
- Helena: That you may well perceive I have not wrong'd you,
- One of the greatest in the Christian world
- Shall be my surety; 'fore whose throne 'tis needful,
- Ere I can perfect mine intents, to kneel:
- Time was, I did him a desired office,
- Dear almost as his life; which gratitude
- Through flinty Tartar's bosom would peep forth,
- And answer, thanks: I duly am inform'd
- His grace is at Marseilles; to which place
- We have convenient convoy. You must know
- I am supposed dead: the army breaking,
- My husband hies him home; where, heaven aiding,
- And by the leave of my good lord the king,
- We'll be before our welcome.
- Widow: Gentle madam,
- You never had a servant to whose trust
- Your business was more welcome.
- Helena: Nor you, mistress,
- Ever a friend whose thoughts more truly labour
- To recompense your love: doubt not but heaven
- Hath brought me up to be your daughter's dower,
- As it hath fated her to be my motive
- And helper to a husband. But, O strange men!
- That can such sweet use make of what they hate,
- When saucy trusting of the cozen'd thoughts
- Defiles the pitchy night: so lust doth play
- With what it loathes for that which is away.
- But more of this hereafter. You, Diana,
- Under my poor instructions yet must suffer
- Something in my behalf.
- Diana: Let death and honesty
- Go with your impositions, I am yours
- Upon your will to suffer.
- Helena: Yet, I pray you:
- But with the word the time will bring on summer,
- When briers shall have leaves as well as thorns,
- And be as sweet as sharp. We must away;
- Our wagon is prepared, and time revives us:
- All's well that ends well; still the fine's the crown;
- Whate'er the course, the end is the renown.
- Exeunt
Scene v. Rousillon. The Count's palace.
- Enter Countess, Lafeu, and Clown
- Lafeu: No, no, no, your son was misled with a snipt-taffeta
- fellow there, whose villanous saffron would have
- made all the unbaked and doughy youth of a nation in
- his colour: your daughter-in-law had been alive at
- this hour, and your son here at home, more advanced
- by the king than by that red-tailed humble-bee I speak of.
- Countess: I would I had not known him; it was the death of the
- most virtuous gentlewoman that ever nature had
- praise for creating. If she had partaken of my
- flesh, and cost me the dearest groans of a mother, I
- could not have owed her a more rooted love.
- Lafeu: 'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady: we may pick a
- thousand salads ere we light on such another herb.
- Clown: Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of the
- salad, or rather, the herb of grace.
- Lafeu: They are not herbs, you knave; they are nose-herbs.
- Clown: I am no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir; I have not much
- skill in grass.
- Lafeu: Whether dost thou profess thyself, a knave or a fool?
- Clown: A fool, sir, at a woman's service, and a knave at a man's.
- Lafeu: Your distinction?
- Clown: I would cozen the man of his wife and do his service.
- Lafeu: So you were a knave at his service, indeed.
- Clown: And I would give his wife my bauble, sir, to do her service.
- Lafeu: I will subscribe for thee, thou art both knave and fool.
- Clown: At your service.
- Lafeu: No, no, no.
- Clown: Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve as
- great a prince as you are.
- Lafeu: Who's that? a Frenchman?
- Clown: Faith, sir, a' has an English name; but his fisnomy
- is more hotter in France than there.
- Lafeu: What prince is that?
- Clown: The black prince, sir; alias, the prince of
- darkness; alias, the devil.
- Lafeu: Hold thee, there's my purse: I give thee not this
- to suggest thee from thy master thou talkest of;
- serve him still.
- Clown: I am a woodland fellow, sir, that always loved a
- great fire; and the master I speak of ever keeps a
- good fire. But, sure, he is the prince of the
- world; let his nobility remain in's court. I am for
- the house with the narrow gate, which I take to be
- too little for pomp to enter: some that humble
- themselves may; but the many will be too chill and
- tender, and they'll be for the flowery way that
- leads to the broad gate and the great fire.
- Lafeu: Go thy ways, I begin to be aweary of thee; and I
- tell thee so before, because I would not fall out
- with thee. Go thy ways: let my horses be well
- looked to, without any tricks.
- Clown: If I put any tricks upon 'em, sir, they shall be
- jades' tricks; which are their own right by the law of nature.
- Exit
- Lafeu: A shrewd knave and an unhappy.
- Countess: So he is. My lord that's gone made himself much
- sport out of him: by his authority he remains here,
- which he thinks is a patent for his sauciness; and,
- indeed, he has no pace, but runs where he will.
- Lafeu: I like him well; 'tis not amiss. And I was about to
- tell you, since I heard of the good lady's death and
- that my lord your son was upon his return home, I
- moved the king my master to speak in the behalf of
- my daughter; which, in the minority of them both,
- his majesty, out of a self-gracious remembrance, did
- first propose: his highness hath promised me to do
- it: and, to stop up the displeasure he hath
- conceived against your son, there is no fitter
- matter. How does your ladyship like it?
- Countess: With very much content, my lord; and I wish it
- happily effected.
- Lafeu: His highness comes post from Marseilles, of as able
- body as when he numbered thirty: he will be here
- to-morrow, or I am deceived by him that in such
- intelligence hath seldom failed.
- Countess: It rejoices me, that I hope I shall see him ere I
- die. I have letters that my son will be here
- to-night: I shall beseech your lordship to remain
- with me till they meet together.
- Lafeu: Madam, I was thinking with what manners I might
- safely be admitted.
- Countess: You need but plead your honourable privilege.
- Lafeu: Lady, of that I have made a bold charter; but I
- thank my God it holds yet.
- Re-enter Clown
- Clown: O madam, yonder's my lord your son with a patch of
- velvet on's face: whether there be a scar under't
- or no, the velvet knows; but 'tis a goodly patch of
- velvet: his left cheek is a cheek of two pile and a
- half, but his right cheek is worn bare.
- Lafeu: A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery
- of honour; so belike is that.
- Clown: But it is your carbonadoed face.
- Lafeu: Let us go see your son, I pray you: I long to talk
- with the young noble soldier.
- Clown: Faith there's a dozen of 'em, with delicate fine
- hats and most courteous feathers, which bow the head
- and nod at every man.
- Exeunt
- --oOo-- -