As You Like It
Act II.
Scene i. The forest of Arden.
- Enter Duke Senior, Amiens, and two or three Lords, like foresters
- Duke Senior: Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile,
- Hath not old custom made this life more sweet
- Than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods
- More free from peril than the envious court?
- Here feel we but the penalty of Adam,
- The seasons' difference, as the icy fang
- And churlish chiding of the winter's wind,
- Which, when it bites and blows upon my body,
- Even till I shrink with cold, I smile and say
- 'This is no flattery: these are counsellors
- That feelingly persuade me what I am.'
- Sweet are the uses of adversity,
- Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
- Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
- And this our life exempt from public haunt
- Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
- Sermons in stones and good in every thing.
- I would not change it.
- Amiens: Happy is your grace,
- That can translate the stubbornness of fortune
- Into so quiet and so sweet a style.
- Duke Senior: Come, shall we go and kill us venison?
- And yet it irks me the poor dappled fools,
- Being native burghers of this desert city,
- Should in their own confines with forked heads
- Have their round haunches gored.
- First Lord: Indeed, my lord,
- The melancholy Jaques grieves at that,
- And, in that kind, swears you do more usurp
- Than doth your brother that hath banish'd you.
- To-day my Lord of Amiens and myself
- Did steal behind him as he lay along
- Under an oak whose antique root peeps out
- Upon the brook that brawls along this wood:
- To the which place a poor sequester'd stag,
- That from the hunter's aim had ta'en a hurt,
- Did come to languish, and indeed, my lord,
- The wretched animal heaved forth such groans
- That their discharge did stretch his leathern coat
- Almost to bursting, and the big round tears
- Coursed one another down his innocent nose
- In piteous chase; and thus the hairy fool
- Much marked of the melancholy Jaques,
- Stood on the extremest verge of the swift brook,
- Augmenting it with tears.
- Duke Senior: But what said Jaques?
- Did he not moralize this spectacle?
- First Lord: O, yes, into a thousand similes.
- First, for his weeping into the needless stream;
- 'Poor deer,' quoth he, 'thou makest a testament
- As worldlings do, giving thy sum of more
- To that which had too much:' then, being there alone,
- Left and abandon'd of his velvet friends,
- ''Tis right:' quoth he; 'thus misery doth part
- The flux of company:' anon a careless herd,
- Full of the pasture, jumps along by him
- And never stays to greet him; 'Ay' quoth Jaques,
- 'Sweep on, you fat and greasy citizens;
- 'Tis just the fashion: wherefore do you look
- Upon that poor and broken bankrupt there?'
- Thus most invectively he pierceth through
- The body of the country, city, court,
- Yea, and of this our life, swearing that we
- Are mere usurpers, tyrants and what's worse,
- To fright the animals and to kill them up
- In their assign'd and native dwelling-place.
- Duke Senior: And did you leave him in this contemplation?
- Second Lord: We did, my lord, weeping and commenting
- Upon the sobbing deer.
- Duke Senior: Show me the place:
- I love to cope him in these sullen fits,
- For then he's full of matter.
- First Lord: I'll bring you to him straight.
- Exeunt
Scene ii. A room in the palace.
- Enter Duke Frederick, with Lords
- Duke Frederick: Can it be possible that no man saw them?
- It cannot be: some villains of my court
- Are of consent and sufferance in this.
- First Lord: I cannot hear of any that did see her.
- The ladies, her attendants of her chamber,
- Saw her abed, and in the morning early
- They found the bed untreasured of their mistress.
- Second Lord: My lord, the roynish clown, at whom so oft
- Your grace was wont to laugh, is also missing.
- Hisperia, the princess' gentlewoman,
- Confesses that she secretly o'erheard
- Your daughter and her cousin much commend
- The parts and graces of the wrestler
- That did but lately foil the sinewy Charles;
- And she believes, wherever they are gone,
- That youth is surely in their company.
- Duke Frederick: Send to his brother; fetch that gallant hither;
- If he be absent, bring his brother to me;
- I'll make him find him: do this suddenly,
- And let not search and inquisition quail
- To bring again these foolish runaways.
- Exeunt
Scene iii. Before Oliver's house.
- Enter Orlando and Adam, meeting
- Orlando: Who's there?
- Adam: What, my young master? O, my gentle master!
- O my sweet master! O you memory
- Of old Sir Rowland! why, what make you here?
- Why are you virtuous? why do people love you?
- And wherefore are you gentle, strong and valiant?
- Why would you be so fond to overcome
- The bonny priser of the humorous duke?
- Your praise is come too swiftly home before you.
- Know you not, master, to some kind of men
- Their graces serve them but as enemies?
- No more do yours: your virtues, gentle master,
- Are sanctified and holy traitors to you.
- O, what a world is this, when what is comely
- Envenoms him that bears it!
- Orlando: Why, what's the matter?
- Adam: O unhappy youth!
- Come not within these doors; within this roof
- The enemy of all your graces lives:
- Your brother—no, no brother; yet the son—
- Yet not the son, I will not call him son
- Of him I was about to call his father—
- Hath heard your praises, and this night he means
- To burn the lodging where you use to lie
- And you within it: if he fail of that,
- He will have other means to cut you off.
- I overheard him and his practises.
- This is no place; this house is but a butchery:
- Abhor it, fear it, do not enter it.
- Orlando: Why, whither, Adam, wouldst thou have me go?
- Adam: No matter whither, so you come not here.
- Orlando: What, wouldst thou have me go and beg my food?
- Or with a base and boisterous sword enforce
- A thievish living on the common road?
- This I must do, or know not what to do:
- Yet this I will not do, do how I can;
- I rather will subject me to the malice
- Of a diverted blood and bloody brother.
- Adam: But do not so. I have five hundred crowns,
- The thrifty hire I saved under your father,
- Which I did store to be my foster-nurse
- When service should in my old limbs lie lame
- And unregarded age in corners thrown:
- Take that, and He that doth the ravens feed,
- Yea, providently caters for the sparrow,
- Be comfort to my age! Here is the gold;
- And all this I give you. Let me be your servant:
- Though I look old, yet I am strong and lusty;
- For in my youth I never did apply
- Hot and rebellious liquors in my blood,
- Nor did not with unbashful forehead woo
- The means of weakness and debility;
- Therefore my age is as a lusty winter,
- Frosty, but kindly: let me go with you;
- I'll do the service of a younger man
- In all your business and necessities.
- Orlando: O good old man, how well in thee appears
- The constant service of the antique world,
- When service sweat for duty, not for meed!
- Thou art not for the fashion of these times,
- Where none will sweat but for promotion,
- And having that, do choke their service up
- Even with the having: it is not so with thee.
- But, poor old man, thou prunest a rotten tree,
- That cannot so much as a blossom yield
- In lieu of all thy pains and husbandry
- But come thy ways; well go along together,
- And ere we have thy youthful wages spent,
- We'll light upon some settled low content.
- Adam: Master, go on, and I will follow thee,
- To the last gasp, with truth and loyalty.
- From seventeen years till now almost fourscore
- Here lived I, but now live here no more.
- At seventeen years many their fortunes seek;
- But at fourscore it is too late a week:
- Yet fortune cannot recompense me better
- Than to die well and not my master's debtor.
- Exeunt
Scene iv. The Forest of Arden.
- Enter Rosalind for Ganymede, Celia for Aliena, and Touchstone
- Rosalind: O Jupiter, how weary are my spirits!
- Touchstone: I care not for my spirits, if my legs were not weary.
- Rosalind: I could find in my heart to disgrace my man's
- apparel and to cry like a woman; but I must comfort
- the weaker vessel, as doublet and hose ought to show
- itself courageous to petticoat: therefore courage,
- good Aliena!
- Celia: I pray you, bear with me; I cannot go no further.
- Touchstone: For my part, I had rather bear with you than bear
- you; yet I should bear no cross if I did bear you,
- for I think you have no money in your purse.
- Rosalind: Well, this is the forest of Arden.
- Touchstone: Ay, now am I in Arden; the more fool I; when I was
- at home, I was in a better place: but travellers
- must be content.
- Rosalind: Ay, be so, good Touchstone.
- Enter Corin and Silvius
- Look you, who comes here; a young man and an old in
- solemn talk.
- Corin: That is the way to make her scorn you still.
- Silvius: O Corin, that thou knew'st how I do love her!
- Corin: I partly guess; for I have loved ere now.
- Silvius: No, Corin, being old, thou canst not guess,
- Though in thy youth thou wast as true a lover
- As ever sigh'd upon a midnight pillow:
- But if thy love were ever like to mine—
- As sure I think did never man love so—
- How many actions most ridiculous
- Hast thou been drawn to by thy fantasy?
- Corin: Into a thousand that I have forgotten.
- Silvius: O, thou didst then ne'er love so heartily!
- If thou remember'st not the slightest folly
- That ever love did make thee run into,
- Thou hast not loved:
- Or if thou hast not sat as I do now,
- Wearying thy hearer in thy mistress' praise,
- Thou hast not loved:
- Or if thou hast not broke from company
- Abruptly, as my passion now makes me,
- Thou hast not loved.
- O Phebe, Phebe, Phebe!
- Exit
- Rosalind: Alas, poor shepherd! searching of thy wound,
- I have by hard adventure found mine own.
- Touchstone: And I mine. I remember, when I was in love I broke
- my sword upon a stone and bid him take that for
- coming a-night to Jane Smile; and I remember the
- kissing of her batlet and the cow's dugs that her
- pretty chopt hands had milked; and I remember the
- wooing of a peascod instead of her, from whom I took
- two cods and, giving her them again, said with
- weeping tears 'Wear these for my sake.' We that are
- true lovers run into strange capers; but as all is
- mortal in nature, so is all nature in love mortal in folly.
- Rosalind: Thou speakest wiser than thou art ware of.
- Touchstone: Nay, I shall ne'er be ware of mine own wit till I
- break my shins against it.
- Rosalind: Jove, Jove! this shepherd's passion
- Is much upon my fashion.
- Touchstone: And mine; but it grows something stale with me.
- Celia: I pray you, one of you question yond man
- If he for gold will give us any food:
- I faint almost to death.
- Touchstone: Holla, you clown!
- Rosalind: Peace, fool: he's not thy kinsman.
- Corin: Who calls?
- Touchstone: Your betters, sir.
- Corin: Else are they very wretched.
- Rosalind: Peace, I say. Good even to you, friend.
- Corin: And to you, gentle sir, and to you all.
- Rosalind: I prithee, shepherd, if that love or gold
- Can in this desert place buy entertainment,
- Bring us where we may rest ourselves and feed:
- Here's a young maid with travel much oppress'd
- And faints for succor.
- Corin: Fair sir, I pity her
- And wish, for her sake more than for mine own,
- My fortunes were more able to relieve her;
- But I am shepherd to another man
- And do not shear the fleeces that I graze:
- My master is of churlish disposition
- And little recks to find the way to heaven
- By doing deeds of hospitality:
- Besides, his cote, his flocks and bounds of feed
- Are now on sale, and at our sheepcote now,
- By reason of his absence, there is nothing
- That you will feed on; but what is, come see.
- And in my voice most welcome shall you be.
- Rosalind: What is he that shall buy his flock and pasture?
- Corin: That young swain that you saw here but erewhile,
- That little cares for buying any thing.
- Rosalind: I pray thee, if it stand with honesty,
- Buy thou the cottage, pasture and the flock,
- And thou shalt have to pay for it of us.
- Celia: And we will mend thy wages. I like this place.
- And willingly could waste my time in it.
- Corin: Assuredly the thing is to be sold:
- Go with me: if you like upon report
- The soil, the profit and this kind of life,
- I will your very faithful feeder be
- And buy it with your gold right suddenly.
- Exeunt
Scene v. The forest.
- Enter Amiens, Jaques, and others
- Song.
- Amiens: Under the greenwood tree
- Who loves to lie with me,
- And turn his merry note
- Unto the sweet bird's throat,
- Come hither, come hither, come hither:
- Here shall he see No enemy
- But winter and rough weather.
- Jaques: More, more, I prithee, more.
- Amiens: It will make you melancholy, Monsieur Jaques.
- Jaques: I thank it. More, I prithee, more. I can suck
- melancholy out of a song, as a weasel sucks eggs.
- More, I prithee, more.
- Amiens: My voice is ragged: I know I cannot please you.
- Jaques: I do not desire you to please me; I do desire you to
- sing. Come, more; another stanzo: call you 'em stanzos?
- Amiens: What you will, Monsieur Jaques.
- Jaques: Nay, I care not for their names; they owe me
- nothing. Will you sing?
- Amiens: More at your request than to please myself.
- Jaques: Well then, if ever I thank any man, I'll thank you;
- but that they call compliment is like the encounter
- of two dog-apes, and when a man thanks me heartily,
- methinks I have given him a penny and he renders me
- the beggarly thanks. Come, sing; and you that will
- not, hold your tongues.
- Amiens: Well, I'll end the song. Sirs, cover the while; the
- duke will drink under this tree. He hath been all
- this day to look you.
- Jaques: And I have been all this day to avoid him. He is
- too disputable for my company: I think of as many
- matters as he, but I give heaven thanks and make no
- boast of them. Come, warble, come.
- Song.
- Who doth ambition shun
- All together here
- And loves to live i' the sun,
- Seeking the food he eats
- And pleased with what he gets,
- Come hither, come hither, come hither:
- Here shall he see No enemy
- But winter and rough weather.
- Jaques: I'll give you a verse to this note that I made
- yesterday in despite of my invention.
- Amiens: And I'll sing it.
- Jaques: Thus it goes:—
- If it do come to pass
- That any man turn ass,
- Leaving his wealth and ease,
- A stubborn will to please,
- Ducdame, ducdame, ducdame:
- Here shall he see
- Gross fools as he,
- An if he will come to me.
- Amiens: What's that 'ducdame'?
- Jaques: 'Tis a Greek invocation, to call fools into a
- circle. I'll go sleep, if I can; if I cannot, I'll
- rail against all the first-born of Egypt.
- Amiens: And I'll go seek the duke: his banquet is prepared.
- Exeunt severally
Scene vi. The forest.
- Enter Orlando and Adam
- Adam: Dear master, I can go no further. O, I die for food!
- Here lie I down, and measure out my grave. Farewell,
- kind master.
- Orlando: Why, how now, Adam! no greater heart in thee? Live
- a little; comfort a little; cheer thyself a little.
- If this uncouth forest yield any thing savage, I
- will either be food for it or bring it for food to
- thee. Thy conceit is nearer death than thy powers.
- For my sake be comfortable; hold death awhile at
- the arm's end: I will here be with thee presently;
- and if I bring thee not something to eat, I will
- give thee leave to die: but if thou diest before I
- come, thou art a mocker of my labour. Well said!
- thou lookest cheerly, and I'll be with thee quickly.
- Yet thou liest in the bleak air: come, I will bear
- thee to some shelter; and thou shalt not die for
- lack of a dinner, if there live any thing in this
- desert. Cheerly, good Adam!
- Exeunt
Scene vii. The forest.
- A table set out. Enter Duke Senior, Amiens, and Lords like outlaws
- Duke Senior: I think he be transform'd into a beast;
- For I can no where find him like a man.
- First Lord: My lord, he is but even now gone hence:
- Here was he merry, hearing of a song.
- Duke Senior: If he, compact of jars, grow musical,
- We shall have shortly discord in the spheres.
- Go, seek him: tell him I would speak with him.
- Enter Jaques
- First Lord: He saves my labour by his own approach.
- Duke Senior: Why, how now, monsieur! what a life is this,
- That your poor friends must woo your company?
- What, you look merrily!
- Jaques: A fool, a fool! I met a fool i' the forest,
- A motley fool; a miserable world!
- As I do live by food, I met a fool
- Who laid him down and bask'd him in the sun,
- And rail'd on Lady Fortune in good terms,
- In good set terms and yet a motley fool.
- 'Good morrow, fool,' quoth I. 'No, sir,' quoth he,
- 'Call me not fool till heaven hath sent me fortune:'
- And then he drew a dial from his poke,
- And, looking on it with lack-lustre eye,
- Says very wisely, 'It is ten o'clock:
- Thus we may see,' quoth he, 'how the world wags:
- 'Tis but an hour ago since it was nine,
- And after one hour more 'twill be eleven;
- And so, from hour to hour, we ripe and ripe,
- And then, from hour to hour, we rot and rot;
- And thereby hangs a tale.' When I did hear
- The motley fool thus moral on the time,
- My lungs began to crow like chanticleer,
- That fools should be so deep-contemplative,
- And I did laugh sans intermission
- An hour by his dial. O noble fool!
- A worthy fool! Motley's the only wear.
- Duke Senior: What fool is this?
- Jaques: O worthy fool! One that hath been a courtier,
- And says, if ladies be but young and fair,
- They have the gift to know it: and in his brain,
- Which is as dry as the remainder biscuit
- After a voyage, he hath strange places cramm'd
- With observation, the which he vents
- In mangled forms. O that I were a fool!
- I am ambitious for a motley coat.
- Duke Senior: Thou shalt have one.
- Jaques: It is my only suit;
- Provided that you weed your better judgments
- Of all opinion that grows rank in them
- That I am wise. I must have liberty
- Withal, as large a charter as the wind,
- To blow on whom I please; for so fools have;
- And they that are most galled with my folly,
- They most must laugh. And why, sir, must they so?
- The 'why' is plain as way to parish church:
- He that a fool doth very wisely hit
- Doth very foolishly, although he smart,
- Not to seem senseless of the bob: if not,
- The wise man's folly is anatomized
- Even by the squandering glances of the fool.
- Invest me in my motley; give me leave
- To speak my mind, and I will through and through
- Cleanse the foul body of the infected world,
- If they will patiently receive my medicine.
- Duke Senior: Fie on thee! I can tell what thou wouldst do.
- Jaques: What, for a counter, would I do but good?
- Duke Senior: Most mischievous foul sin, in chiding sin:
- For thou thyself hast been a libertine,
- As sensual as the brutish sting itself;
- And all the embossed sores and headed evils,
- That thou with licence of free foot hast caught,
- Wouldst thou disgorge into the general world.
- Jaques: Why, who cries out on pride,
- That can therein tax any private party?
- Doth it not flow as hugely as the sea,
- Till that the weary very means do ebb?
- What woman in the city do I name,
- When that I say the city-woman bears
- The cost of princes on unworthy shoulders?
- Who can come in and say that I mean her,
- When such a one as she such is her neighbour?
- Or what is he of basest function
- That says his bravery is not of my cost,
- Thinking that I mean him, but therein suits
- His folly to the mettle of my speech?
- There then; how then? what then? Let me see wherein
- My tongue hath wrong'd him: if it do him right,
- Then he hath wrong'd himself; if he be free,
- Why then my taxing like a wild-goose flies,
- Unclaim'd of any man. But who comes here?
- Enter Orlando, with his sword drawn
- Orlando: Forbear, and eat no more.
- Jaques: Why, I have eat none yet.
- Orlando: Nor shalt not, till necessity be served.
- Jaques: Of what kind should this cock come of?
- Duke Senior: Art thou thus bolden'd, man, by thy distress,
- Or else a rude despiser of good manners,
- That in civility thou seem'st so empty?
- Orlando: You touch'd my vein at first: the thorny point
- Of bare distress hath ta'en from me the show
- Of smooth civility: yet am I inland bred
- And know some nurture. But forbear, I say:
- He dies that touches any of this fruit
- Till I and my affairs are answered.
- Jaques: An you will not be answered with reason, I must die.
- Duke Senior: What would you have? Your gentleness shall force
- More than your force move us to gentleness.
- Orlando: I almost die for food; and let me have it.
- Duke Senior: Sit down and feed, and welcome to our table.
- Orlando: Speak you so gently? Pardon me, I pray you:
- I thought that all things had been savage here;
- And therefore put I on the countenance
- Of stern commandment. But whate'er you are
- That in this desert inaccessible,
- Under the shade of melancholy boughs,
- Lose and neglect the creeping hours of time
- If ever you have look'd on better days,
- If ever been where bells have knoll'd to church,
- If ever sat at any good man's feast,
- If ever from your eyelids wiped a tear
- And know what 'tis to pity and be pitied,
- Let gentleness my strong enforcement be:
- In the which hope I blush, and hide my sword.
- Duke Senior: True is it that we have seen better days,
- And have with holy bell been knoll'd to church
- And sat at good men's feasts and wiped our eyes
- Of drops that sacred pity hath engender'd:
- And therefore sit you down in gentleness
- And take upon command what help we have
- That to your wanting may be minister'd.
- Orlando: Then but forbear your food a little while,
- Whiles, like a doe, I go to find my fawn
- And give it food. There is an old poor man,
- Who after me hath many a weary step
- Limp'd in pure love: till he be first sufficed,
- Oppress'd with two weak evils, age and hunger,
- I will not touch a bit.
- Duke Senior: Go find him out,
- And we will nothing waste till you return.
- Orlando: I thank ye; and be blest for your good comfort!
- Exit
- Duke Senior: Thou seest we are not all alone unhappy:
- This wide and universal theatre
- Presents more woeful pageants than the scene
- Wherein we play in.
- Jaques: All the world's a stage,
- And all the men and women merely players:
- They have their exits and their entrances;
- And one man in his time plays many parts,
- His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
- Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
- And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
- And shining morning face, creeping like snail
- Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
- Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
- Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
- Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
- Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
- Seeking the bubble reputation
- Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
- In fair round belly with good capon lined,
- With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
- Full of wise saws and modern instances;
- And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
- Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
- With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
- His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
- For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
- Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
- And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
- That ends this strange eventful history,
- Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
- Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
- Re-enter Orlando, with Adam
- Duke Senior: Welcome. Set down your venerable burthen,
- And let him feed.
- Orlando: I thank you most for him.
- Adam: So had you need:
- I scarce can speak to thank you for myself.
- Duke Senior: Welcome; fall to: I will not trouble you
- As yet, to question you about your fortunes.
- Give us some music; and, good cousin, sing.
- Song.
- Amiens: Blow, blow, thou winter wind.
- Thou art not so unkind
- As man's ingratitude;
- Thy tooth is not so keen,
- Because thou art not seen,
- Although thy breath be rude.
- Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly:
- Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
- Then, heigh-ho, the holly!
- This life is most jolly.
- Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,
- That dost not bite so nigh
- As benefits forgot:
- Though thou the waters warp,
- Thy sting is not so sharp
- As friend remember'd not.
- Heigh-ho! sing, & c.
- Duke Senior: If that you were the good Sir Rowland's son,
- As you have whisper'd faithfully you were,
- And as mine eye doth his effigies witness
- Most truly limn'd and living in your face,
- Be truly welcome hither: I am the duke
- That loved your father: the residue of your fortune,
- Go to my cave and tell me. Good old man,
- Thou art right welcome as thy master is.
- Support him by the arm. Give me your hand,
- And let me all your fortunes understand.
- Exeunt
- --oOo-- -